"Life is 10% What Happens to me, and 90% How I React to it"- Charles Swindoll

How would you define happiness? I used to believe that happiness was when everything was going perfectly. You could say I used to be a pretty big perfectionist. I’m sure my parents, teachers, friends, and coaches would have agreed to this. This was the paradigm that filled my head. I want to explain to you how you can find happiness in any situation you’re faced with. Through the most challenging time for me on my mission, I’m coming to understand that happiness is not dependent upon circumstances, but that happiness is dependent on the attitude we

choose.

January 15, 2015, I left my home, family, friends, and an education I was pursuing to serve an 18-month volunteer mission for my church. I was privileged to serve in the England Birmingham Mission containing the beautiful countries of England and south Wales. About 6 months into my mission, my mission companion and I went to our local LDS church on a Monday to go email our friends and family back home. I was always excited to talk to them on Mondays to hear what’s going on at home, what’s new, and how everyone was doing.

The very first email I opened up was from my father. As I began reading his email, I learned that the previous day him and my mother were in a serious T-Bone car accident and had totaled their car. So many emotions swelled my heart at this time. I was shocked at what I was reading and then many questions flooded into my thought process. As I continued to read my father’s email, he said that he managed to be free from injuries but my mom took the toll of the accident and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. As they got to the hospital, Mom was taken in for an MRI and CT Scan to see what damage was done. They got the results back and found that she had internal bleeding, broken bones, and broken ribs.

As I continued to read my father’s email, he wrote, “Katrina, there is something else that we found. The MRI showed a tumor sitting on the top of your mom’s brain next to the ventricular opening. It’s a rare tumor and one the doctors don’t know much about.”

At this point I lost it and could not control the tears. As I read through other emails from my family members, I kept reading, “it’s all ok, it will all be ok.” How was it going to be ok? All I knew was that Mom was hurt and I wasn’t there to understand what was going on. I didn’t know what the future held. So much was going through my head and I felt like it all hit me at once: “Is this tumor going to take my mom? It can’t. She’s my mom. What would I do without my mom? I was on my mission, not close to her. I couldn’t be there with her. What if I didn’t get to see my mom before my mission finished in one year?”

After previously losing a brother in a car accident and going through the pain and healing that came with it, I was terrified to lose someone close to me. One who was especially so important and meant the world to me. I got on my knees and began to plead with Heavenly Father. I said, “Please don’t take my mom. I need her. Please. But if you do need her at this time, please help me to stay strong.”

My wonderful mission companion tried to help me keep things off of my mind that day, so we went on an adventure. While we were on this adventure, I did not want to be happy. I decided that I was going to be mad, and I was going to stay mad.

Later that night, my mission companion and I went to the local LDS church in Derby, England for a family church activity. Many families, young children, and couples were there. That night someone shared a message from an LDS church leader, President Uchtdorf, titled “All is Well.” It said, “As I think about our Pioneer heritage, one of the most moving things that comes to mind is the hymn “Come, Come Ye Saints.” Those who made the long journey to the Salt Lake Valley often sang this hymn. I’m very much aware that all was not well with those Saints. They were plagued by sickness, heat, fatigue, cold, fear, hunger, pain, doubt, and death. Despite every reason to shout ‘all is not well,’ they cultivated an attitude that we know cannot help but be admired today. They looked beyond their troubles to eternal blessings. They were grateful in their circumstance. Despite evidence to the contrary, they sang with all the convinction of their souls, ‘all is well.’”

As I sat and listened to this message given, I had a thought in my head: “How did the saints do this? How did they keep going forward? They lost family members along the trail. They had to leave them behind and bury them. As they kept moving forward, how did they do it?” Then I had another thought: “They had hope. They had hope in the future. They had hope in the promises that God had for them. They had faith in God that everything would be well even though things at the moment were not well. And they had gratitude.”

During this time, I learned that even though the situation may not have been perfect, and I was terrified of what the future would bring, I could trust in my Heavenly Father. I could believe that all will be well, no matter the outcome.

The past few years my family and I have discovered that my mom’s tumor is benign, and it is something that we have been able to keep a close eye on with the help of with wonderful doctors and medical technology today. I’ve learned that all is well. Despite the situation, I can change my attitude.

In 10th grade, my health teacher gave a poem to each of his students that has made an impact on me every day. I try to read this frequently, if not recite parts of it in my head. In his poem “Attitude”, by Charles Swindoll, he says, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money; than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say, or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. (I would even throw in a community, country, and the world.) The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”

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