“Man’s Extremity is God’s Opportunity”: The Story of Ashlyn and Dawson

Ashlyn and Dawson

The sun shone on a perfect warm evening on June 17, 2017, as Ashlyn sat in a razor vehicle right next to her boyfriend, Dawson Bingham. The razor filled up with Dawson’s nieces and nephews, and Ashlyn thought, “Wow, this is really nice. It’s a beautiful day, and I can see this as a future—just taking our kids along for a ride.” No sooner had this thought crossed her mind that Dawson shouted out, “Do you guys wanna see something cool?!” With an abrupt turn at only 10-miles an hour, the razor, which was meant for things like this, suddenly flipped and threw Dawson and his youngest nephew out and over the top of the razor. Ashlyn, terrified, braced herself and protected Dawson’s two-year old niece.

“Is everyone ok”? Dawson asked as he scanned the damage. “My birthday’s ruined!” One of the children screamed as Ashlyn and Dawson tended to the kids. Luckily, none of the children happened to be hurt. Dawson ran over to Ashlyn to see if she was alright, but she had just noticed her mangled hand with blood seeping out.

Dawson called his brother, Bryan, who was frantic and yelling on the phone, to drive him and Ashlyn to the hospital. Bryan raced them to the hospital and assured Ashlyn not to look at her hand, worried that she would go into shock. At this moment, Ashlyn began to process what happened. As she looked down at her hand, she noticed rocks, dirt, and grass stuck inside of her crushed palm. She said, “But it looks cool! Look at it! It’s falling off!”

They got to the hospital and a hand surgeon happened to be on call. She immediately went into surgery to repair veins and arteries, have a nerve graft performed, insert screws into her broken bones, and then sew everything back up.

Ashlyn woke up from surgery to find her mother right next to her. She said to her mom, “Mom, I was supposed to go live in Provo for the next six months.” Then she began to think of all the things that she couldn’t do. “I can’t rock climb. I can’t play volleyball ever again. I can’t play basketball. I can’t do these things with one hand. What am I supposed to do?”

After the accident, Dawson discovered he broke his shoulder and part of his back, and he required surgery on his shoulder. Ashlyn’s recovery included 15-hours a week of physical therapy, Hyperbarics to oxygenate her blood and heal quicker, wound care, and many doctor’s checkups.

During the time of the accident, Ashlyn was still enrolled in school. She took a couple weeks off and then moved back to Rexburg to finish the semester. It was then that she started to realize how bad her hand really was.

“If you tell yourself you’re going to do this hard thing for one week, then it doesn’t seem so bad because it’ll be over in one week,” Ashlyn said. She felt like this would only be a short-term recovery. “I thought I just wouldn’t be able to use my hand for one week and then it would be fine. But, it didn’t get better after one week, two, three, or even four weeks. It was a much slower process than I thought.”

When Healing Doesn't Come

In the hospital, Dawson’s brother gave her a Priesthood blessing saying that her hand would completely heal. As time went on, she experienced frustration because it wasn’t healing. Eventually, doctors started to talk about the possibility of amputating her pinky because it wasn’t moving or gaining feeling.

Do you remember being a little kid and getting into trouble? Would your mom or dad take away one of your favorite toys for a time before you got it back? Imagine having it taken away from you, expecting to get it back, and then having it disappear forever. This is what loss is.

According to Joyce Ashton, grief counselor and author of “Jesus Wept”, she says, “All of life’s challenges have at their core some type of loss… and most of life’s disappointments and trials result from loss and will bear grief.”

It’s natural to grieve with any type of loss. In fact, it’s normal. Whether it’s the loss of a limb, losing of a loved one, not being accepted to the graduate school you hoped for, or never bearing children, these losses all cause change and emotional pain as well.

Ashlyn felt this loss and the consequences that it brought such as not being able to play volleyball or basketball like she used to. She has had other surgeries on her hand such as a pinky amputation which left her feeling quite sorry for herself.

“Dawson would play basketball at the I-Center ad I would walk around the track above and watch people play volleyball. I would feel so sorry for myself. It was so frustrating. I went and laid down on the mats to look up at the ceiling. I would think, ‘Why did this happen to me? Please, give me a reason, because I don’t understand?’” Ashlyn said.

She knew that losing function of a hand wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to someone. But for her, it was extremely challenging because of the things she had to give up as well. She had to decide for herself, though, if she was going to be mad at God if she didn’t fully heal.

There’s a scripture that says, “And God will deliver us, but if not, we’ll still be faithful.” This is the attitude that Ashlyn started to take on. She grew a mindset that she would pray for God to heal her hand, but if not, it would be okay and she would still be faithful to Him.

Now, when Ashlyn sees others play volleyball, she’s not sad like she used to be. “I’ve made a huge decision to be happy and God has lifted me up through the whole thing. I just feel so supported.”

Prayers of Others

Have you ever wondered what happens when you say a prayer for someone? What does that prayer do? Ashlyn had these questions. She even wondered, “And why do we spend all this time praying, even when bad things happen after we pray? Do our prayers actually help other people?”

Ashlyn talked about her belief in the power of other’s prayers. She had many moments of sadness, but she was able to stay positive throughout it all. She missed lots of classes, social activities, and the rest of her volleyball season. She became okay with the fact that her hand was injured. She was okay that she couldn’t do many of the things that she loved, such as volleyball. She was okay with others helping her. Throughout all of these moments, she said, “When people prayed for me, I felt their prayers. I really believe that God turns those prayers into comfort.”

“I believe that our trials are for our good,” Ashlyn said. A quote that she has found, which gives her hope, is one by an Apostle of the LDS church. Elder Holland says, “Every experience can become a redemptive experience if we remain bonded to our Father in Heaven through that difficulty. These difficult lessons teach us that man’s extremities are God’s opportunities.” “If we want to grow,” Ashlyn said, “We have to experience trials.”

The Choice to be Happy

Happiness is not a conscious choice that she makes every day. Sometimes she’s not happy and is mad about this whole situation, but she has continued to pray to be ok with what happened. “As I do this, I feel like God just helps me to be ok with things. I’m able to look back at the things that are going right or see the things that happened for my benefit,”Ashlyn said.

Through this entire accident and process of healing, Ashlyn recognizes that she grew so much closer with Dawson during the time. They spend every moment with each other and grew a stronger relationship because of what happened. He eventually asked her to be his wife, and they were sealed in the Idaho Falls Temple for time and all eternity on October 13, 2017.

“To be happy, to me, means that we recognize the things that are going good, rather than focusing on the things that are going bad. It’s about gratitude,” Ashlyn said.

Ashlyn's Advice

For anyone going through a difficult time, Ashlyn would say that healing—physical, emotional, or spiritual—takes conscience effort. Ashlyn would spend two hours a day for 40 days in a hyperbaric chamber helping her breathe, oxygenate her blood, which in turn would help her hand heal faster. “I went crazy doing hyperbarics!” She exclaimed. She would be involved with this, physical therapy, and wound care. There were days she didn’t stretch at home because it caused so much pain, or there were days she didn’t pray for her hand.

“Sometimes I just would avoid the mental and emotional effort it took to heal, but healing takes effort! You have to try to heal; you just can’t sit around and wait for things to heal,” she said. Besides healing, Ashlyn mentioned another fundamental part of trials.

"Just let God mold you because you’re going through this for some reason. He knows what He’s doing. Let Him change you. Let Him make you a better person. Rely on Him.” Ashlyn said.

Resilience: Keeping On

I have known Ashlyn since our elementary school days. She was the tall friend, and I was the short friend. My entire school experience up until graduation, onto serving missions at the same time, rooming together at college, and even today, Ashlyn is one of the greatest friends I have ever had. She loves people. She cares about them. She’s spunky, outgoing, and gives 110 percent to whatever she sets her mind to. Yes, I have watched her struggles during this challenging year, but I have continually watched her get back up again and again to continue on with school and make changes in her life. No matter how hard the challenge has become, she has never stopped.

To me, that’s resilience; the ability to bounce back after setback and take on the challenge ahead. We all go through these experiences. It may not be the loss of a limb, a loved one, etc., but we all have losses. What matters is choosing to take one more day and keep going.